Red ...

<EM>How can you tell when a redhead has PMS?</EM> You <STRONG>CAN'T</STRONG>

Red ...

Traffic lights and brake lights announce danger. Some animals use the color to announce the mating season or to issue a warning. Red in advertising is used to evoke erotic feeling ...

Blondes may have more fun, but redheads are fiery, unpredictable, hot-tempered and highly sexed creatures who leave more scratchmarks on your back. Redheads have had an unfortunate history - from being burned as witches, sacrificed to the gods, feared as demons and condemned as unlucky or downright mad - but they have also been worshipped, idealized and fetishized, leaving their flaming mark on the world at large. Recorded history is full of such puzzling contradictions: redheads are goddesses and god damned, royalty and rapists. Red hair has also historically signified social and cultural deprivation, promiscuity, witchcraft and even prostitution.

<EM>What do you call a redhead with an attitude?</EM> <STRONG>Normal </STRONG>

Aristotle wrote: "The reddish are of bad character" and redheads were burnt as witches in medieval Poland and valued at twice the going rate on the slave block in Normandy. Greek mythology tells of redheads becoming vampires after they die, flame-haired females were burned as witches during the Inquisition and Hitler forbade marrying redheads for fear of producing "deviant offspring". In the nineteenth century, according to Marion Roach, author of The Roots of Desire: The Myth, Meaning and Power of Red Hair, it was believed that redheads were the strongest scented of all women, exuding the aroma of amber and violets.

Old sayings such as "red hair, evil hair" and "red beard - devil's way" still exist in some rural areas of Europe. In some times and places, that stigma was a death sentence. Even today, Sicilian children cross themselves at the sight of a redhead in order to guard against the mark of the devil. In the Bible, red is connected with Satan, lust and betrayal; biblical fear of red hair may stem from the belief that Judas Iscariot was a redhead.

<EM>How can you tell when a redhead has been using a finicky computer?</EM> <STRONG>There's an ax in the center of the monitor</STRONG>

Redheads are theoretically the result of pillaging Viking rapists, and their reputation for a temper as scorching as their tresses has captivated mankind since they first materialized upon the earth (<EM>Oxford University scientists think the "ginger gene" - which is responsible for red hair, fair skin and freckles - could be up to 100,000 years old</EM>).

<STRONG>Frothy Redhead</STRONG>
Ingredients:
<UL>
<LI>3 scoops Vanilla ice-cream</LI>
<LI>1/2 glass Club soda (or Sprite)</LI>
<LI>1/2 glass Red wine</LI>
<LI>Granulated Sugar</LI>
</UL>

Mixing instructions: Add in listed order. Do not shake. Garnish with 2-3 grapes and sprinkle with
sugar.

Uh can I get a yuck? I'd rather have a:

Red Headed Slut
<STRONG>Ingredients:</STRONG>
<UL>
<LI>1 oz peach schnapps</LI>
<LI>1 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur</LI>
<LI>cranberry juice</LI>
</UL>

Mixing instructions: Chill and serve in a shot glass.

Less than one percent of the human race may be redheads; depending on estimates and definitions, between 2-6% percent of the U.S. population has red hair. True coppertops are more rare than lefthanders or gays, almost as scarce as hens' teeth, sometimes making them feared, ridiculed and/or revered.

Daniel Sessler, University of Louisville anesthesiology researcher, states there's evidence that redheads are more sensitive to certain types of pain. "After a previous study we received more than 100 communications from redheads who claimed that anesthesia often failed or that unusually high doses of local anesthetics were required to achieve adequate analgesia," he says.

I don't know about that, but I <STRONG>do</STRONG> know that I'm always cold and that my threshold for pain is practically non-existent. And dental work? Fuhgeddaboudit. My dentist has to either knock my ass completely out or give me enough gas to float me off into la-la land.

<EM>Why aren't there more redhead jokes?</EM> <STRONG>Someone made the mistake of telling them to a redhead.</STRONG>

"It's taken over ten years of research to find the facts and information that I present in this book - information that defines the redhead culture - without really identifying it. [...] More interesting to me were the surveys and studies that show how redheads are perceived by others, and how they perceive themselves. I was also fascinated to find all the strange historical data concerning redheads, with contradicting folklore and fables. I'm proud to be a redhead [...] " The Redhead Encyclopedia by Stephen Douglas

"Redheads do what blondes dream of." ~ Nicola Phillips

The Realm of Redheads is an online community of nothing but redheads, but be warned: the Realm is not a personals site or a dating service most of the members are already married or involved with a significant other, and have no interest in being propositioned.

My husband's all-time favorite joke: What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead? A blonde's a redhead that's had the fire fucked out of her.

Helen of Troy was a redhead. Cleopatra was a redhead. The ancient goddess of love, Aphrodite, was a redhead. Botticelli's "Birth of Venus" shows a redhead. Titian painted so many redheads, his name became a label for a particular shade of red. Columbus was a redhead. As was Isabella of Spain. Leif Erickson found the continent ahead of them, and Thomas Jefferson shaped up America afterward. Alexander the Great, Leonardo da Vinci, Catherine the Great, Charlemagne, Napoleon Bonaparte, Winston Churchill, Hernando Cortez, Oliver Cromwell, Ponce de Leon, the Marquis de Sade, Queen Elizabeth I, Galileo, Vladimir Lenin, Mary, Queen of Scots, kings of Sweden, France, Germany, Bavaria, Austria, Scotland, Ireland and Persia, and eight kings of England, including Henry VIII and William the Conqueror were all redheads.

"It takes a redheaded woman To get a dirty job done" ~ Bruce Springsteen

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