A Rose by Any Other Name ...

Having always been a big fan of words I found myself following a recent thread on a friend's mailing list with great interest. The heart of the thread was the unflattering euphemisms that have been tacked onto providers and the business in general and whether or not there were, or could be, something more descriptive and less demeaning.

<em>One poster wrote:

[...]what terms could possibly be of use? I think the word tryst has a very good sound and is very descriptive. So, providers could be called trysters. If however, you wanted to intensify it by the type of provider, "tryster" could refer to a GFE, tryxter to a PSE, and tryxxter to a very wild PSE.</em>

Ha! "Tryxter" makes me think of an 80's hair band. In fact, I think ... hang on ... yup: <a href="http://www.vh1.com/artists/az/id_18039/artist.jhtml " target="_blank">Trixter</a> - "Give It To Me Good", circa 1990. More a "Baby Metal" band than a hair band, I guess, but the song fits, lol.

There are/have been quite a few labels for providers and the profession over the years. Some of them don't make any sense to me and some of them seem to refer more to women who give it away rather than those who make a living doing it, but they're all colorful and descriptive:
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<em>Adventuress, asphalt angel, B-girl, bag, bangtail (<em>apparently 19th century slang for whore</em>), bawd, bimbo, blower, 'bo, Brass Flute (<em>British rhyming slang for prostitute</em>), broad, call girl, camp follower, cat, chicken, chippie, comfort woman (<em>Japanese</em>), companion, concubine, courtesan, doxy, fancy girl, fancy woman, fallen woman, flatbacker (<em>GI Joe slang for prostitute</em>), frail sister, French velvet, floozy, harlot, ho', hoochie, hooker, hoor, hostess, hussy, hustler, lady of the evening, lady/woman of the night, lady of ill-fame/easy virtue/ill-repute, loose woman, lot lizard, jezebel, lost sister, midnight cowboy (<em>?</em>), model (<em>?</em>), moll, nymphomaniac, painted lady/woman, party girl, pickup, pink pants (<em>lol</em>), prairie dove, pro, professional girlfriend, public woman, red light lady, round heels, saloon belle, sex worker, slattern, scarlet woman, shady lady, slut, sportin' girl/woman, street angel, streetwalker, strumpet, tart, tomato, tramp, trollop, vamp, wench, white slave, whore, working girl ... and my all time favorite: soiled dove.</em>

There are very few of those words, taken out of context, that don't immediately make it very clear what someone is talking about. Companion and hostess are actually the only two that don't immediately bring the profession to mind. Unless of course, you're in a conversation specifically about prostitution.

I've had occasion over the years to be on the receiving end of a few of derogatory terms slut and tramp come immediately to mind by women who took offense at me for one reason or another, usually because their man (<em>or some man they <strong>wished</strong> were theirs</em>) paid too much attention to me. When I was younger my feelings were hurt at the contempt those women held for me. It was only after I grew older, and wiser, that I understood their taunts could be considered more of a compliment than an insult.

The truth is that women as a whole, are evil, catty and insecure creatures. Finding themselves, or even thinking themselves lacking in any way, the female will attack that which is threatening their self-confidence in the most derogatory manner possible. So the pretty, funny, confident woman/girl/young mother at the bar/nightclub/supermarket automatically becomes a whore or a slut.

Similarly, if the insults were coming from men, I came to recognize them as thinly veiled episodes of sour grapes. Men, to a lesser extent, but much in the same way, will deride or verbally degrade that which they want, but can't have. In their roundabout way of thinking, men will tell themselves that if a woman doesn't want them, she must be useless and not good enough for them. Men will try to convince themselves, and anybody that will listen, of her non-existent virtue and obvious lack of worth.

On the other hand, my husband has called me those same words in the midst of passion and not only haven't I taken offense, I've found myself more excited, actually driven, to act the part. (<em>Of course, if he called me a slut in the middle of an argument it would probably earn him a shot to the balls. No doubt there's a lesson to be learned there somewhere.</em>)

These days, due in no small part to my maturity and the growth of a somewhat thicker skin, I find myself embracing and, at times, reveling in some derogatory insults. For instance, I take great delight in being referred to as a "bitch". I've worked very hard over the years to earn that name and I deserve it. "Trailer trash" and "Biker bitch" are two more terms that I don't have a problem with these days.

What it boils down to, and always has, is a lesson I learned when I was about fourteen years old: I know what I'm doing and the people that I love know what I'm doing. That's all that matters. That's all that should matter.

The rest of the world be damned.

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